Reviews For When I Wake Up
You must login (register) to review.
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Tahoe Lee Signed

Loved this story.  We really get to see the world through Adam's POV.  You nailed Adam's character and the family dynamics very well.

Good stuff!!

Date: 07/25/2018 - 09:21 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: RedShirt Signed

Well written. Fast-paced story with just enough left out to keep the reader going after the next tempting nugget. There's some good character development here with Joe and Hoss too, and the nifty thing is it mostly happens off-screen, so that it feels realistic.

I did have a tiny bit of trouble figuring out what Adam had really been doing away from the Ponderosa; evidently he wore that white shirt for somebody he expected to see on the trip to pick up the payroll, but we never find out how that went. Like I said, you're leaving out just enough to bring us back for more. It's a good technique and not one a lot of writers can master.

I like the vocabulary. I like the pacing. Keeping the moves in the fights straight is as realistic as is the effect of blood loss and concussion, which do make keeping up with one's own thoughts and consciousness a chore from time to time.

Well done!

Date: 07/25/2018 - 03:15 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Sierras Signed

This is my second time reading this - this time through the reading club.  Good story!  Intense and good descriptions.  Very well written.

Date: 07/25/2018 - 01:49 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: littlejoenice Signed

What a story! What a nightmare! I'm relieved that Ben, Hoss, and Little Joe found Adam and just in time, it seems. You had me on edge for a while there.

Date: 07/17/2018 - 11:33 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: PlatoofthePonderosa Signed

Intense! The first person present tense really puts the reader inside this story. There were several motifs I recognized from the show: Cartwright attacked for a payroll, superhuman ability to survive gunshot wounds to the chest/abdomen, family to the rescue. You did a good job communicating to the reader what was going on even when your narrator, Adam, was delirious and interpreting things wrongly. And the lighthearted brotherly banter near the end was a nice touch. 

Thank you for sharing! 

Date: 07/16/2018 - 08:25 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Sierras Signed

Very exciting.  Good story.

Date: 03/18/2018 - 12:18 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: mo1427 Anonymous

That was a great story and so glad that his family was able to get to him in time. I was worried there for a second.

Date: 07/16/2013 - 10:08 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: PERNELLSulli Signed

you know that this is not the first time I read your story,but it won´t be the last ... I love this story Annie...again...bravo,bravo

Date: 04/07/2012 - 10:25 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: pam Signed

this was a great story

Date: 01/31/2012 - 06:45 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Bertha Signed

loved it, thanks

Date: 01/29/2012 - 01:58 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Angelface1961 Signed

I like the perspective of how you wrote this.  Adam correcting the guys speech even as he is ready to pass out is soooo Adam.  Love the teasing adn the love you portray.  Good job!

Date: 01/27/2012 - 07:24 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamant Signed

A good story of Adam's internal struggle with pain and misery and his relief at being home. Well-done.

Date: 01/27/2012 - 05:07 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: pam Signed

wow wonderful story

Date: 01/24/2012 - 04:55 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Englishgirl Signed

You certainly put Adam through it in this story. Thank you for a very compelling read.

Date: 01/23/2012 - 09:31 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Kimberly Signed

Adam went through alot. Great story and thanks for sharing Annie.

Date: 01/23/2012 - 03:08 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: lady cat Signed

A very fast forwarding story. Liked it much.

Date: 01/22/2012 - 11:46 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: cma Signed

Excellent

Date: 01/22/2012 - 12:35 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: ansinico Signed

Definately the material for a classic 'Adam' episode of Bonanza, tension, fast action, family rescue, excellent dialogue. Great story.

Date: 01/22/2012 - 09:33 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: lovemychico Signed

Love Love Love it Annie.  The C's are always there to help when one of them is hurt.  Thanks for sharing with us :)

Date: 01/22/2012 - 09:32 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Calamity Signed

Wow, very intense. Poor Adam! I love it when the family comes to the rescue. For a few moments I wasn't sure he was going to make it. You've captured him so well that I could really feel him fading away.

Date: 01/22/2012 - 03:57 am [Report This]
You must login (register) to review.