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Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: LittleJoe4Ever Signed

I did love the interaction between Joe & Adam!



Author's Response:

I enjoy exploring all the brothers' realtionships with one another so felt Clay would add one more thing. But blood just being realtd is not enough--it's caring. Thank you for reading.

Date: 05/26/2016 - 05:53 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Guitarlover Signed

Yep, Clay acted as I thought he would.  Joe had a lot of frustration with the Adam that returned from college, apparently.  I'm glad he and Adam got a chance to talk a little about their relationship.  Great story; thanks!



Author's Response:

Glad that you liked the story. Clay was a difficult character to write and pleased to see that you felt he behaved as you would have expected.

Date: 09/07/2015 - 12:36 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Guitarlover Signed

Yep, Clay acted as I thought he would.  Joe had a lot of frustration with the Adam that returned from college, apparently.  I'm glad he and Adam got a chance to talk a little about their relationship.  Great story; thanks!

Date: 09/06/2015 - 08:36 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: lovemychico Signed

OHHHH Love me some JAM!! That was a great story Ant and. Joe may have loved Clay but I think he loved Adam and Hoss more.  Thanks for sharing with us.



Author's Response:

Thanks for leaving a comment. Clay was a novelty and they had the same mother--you how "singular" Joe's relationship was with his mother--look at Julia Bulette--so he and Clay had another parent in common from Hoss and Adam.  But he couldn't love anyone more than he did Hoss and Adam. I hope I showed that. 

Date: 09/19/2014 - 12:44 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: pam Signed

great job I liked it well writting

 



Author's Response:

I'm glad that you liked the story--it's a dark one.

Date: 11/13/2011 - 12:04 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Maria Vaz Signed

I may not be the best person to understand English grammar, but from the standpoint of being able to translate the author's perfect!
As the translation is easy, understanding is very good!
This story is great and is a delight for those who love JAM!
I love jam and I loved this story! It complements the episode in question, since I really was missing something in that, that the author knew very well offer us here! Congratulations to the author!



Author's Response:

Thank you, Maria Vaz. I'm glad that it was easy for you to understand and that you enjoyed the JAM! :-D I'm happy you loved the story.

Date: 08/22/2011 - 03:52 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Sheena Signed

Great story!  It's so important to find out and know who cares and who you can really count on.  Family is such a special thing - shame Clay doesn't realise that.  I felt the whole story was in character and loved all the wonderful brother moments.   



Author's Response:

Thank you, Sheena. I also thank you for your flattering review in The Reading Club and I'm pleased that you believed that the characters were true to one another and themselves. I always felt sorry for Clay and the fact that he was raised with no one and couldn't learn what family really is--although in the episode, he tried to put Joe ahead of himself. But I always felt, just as in the story, it was really to regain his own independence.

Date: 06/16/2011 - 04:52 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: OhAdam Signed
Great story Adamant. Joe and Adam are true to character as they both learn what it really means to be brothers.
Adam faces his own jealousy toward Joe's feelings for Clay:
"Adam sat quietly and Joe took back the bottle that Adam had placed on the ground. He lay back against his saddle propped on the ground and drank more. And Adam finally had to admit to himself that he was jealous of Clay. He had never faced it before, refused to recognize the emotion, but he was. He was jealous because Joe had a connection with Clay that he didn’t have with Joe--their mothers--and because Clay and Joe bore such a strong resemblance to one another. But most of all, because Joe worshipped Clay as he had once worshipped Adam." I always enjoy a peek into Adam's mind.

Clay is not the brother Joe wants him to be or thinks he is:
'"But I have to find Adam and tell him what’s going on.” Joe stood and stared at Clay. Clay should understand. Adam was his brother just as Clay was his brother. They had come all this way just to find Clay and Adam had no reason to accompany Joe except that Joe was his brother and might need him--no, did need him. Joe realized that by now, without Adam along, he might have been shot in Chihuahua or have died of thirst because he chose to take an unknown route to Mexico. Thank God, Joe thought, for Adam’s methodical, albeit annoying, manner of accomplishing a goal.'
"If only Joe hadn’t insisted they go back for Adam and if only Adam hadn’t had to have his own horse, he could be safely gone--they could all be safely gone. Family, Clay thought, what a burdensome thing; a man’s life was easier without family."

In true Cartwright form, Joe and Adam stick together as brothers at the end and Clay moves on to take care of himself. To Clay, as he stated above, family is a burden-something you only want around when you ned it. I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Joe since he seems to really want a brotherly (Cartwright) relationship with Clay that Clay is not able to enter into.
The final result is a strengthening of the bond between true brothers. Thanks Adamant!




Author's Response:

Thank you for such a wonderful review. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it--and as I read what you quoted, I still wanted to change some wording. :) You are a perceptive reader and picked out what I was trying to convey--that family means an interdependence and a reliance--and love--for one another. One always does for family just because they are.

Date: 06/13/2011 - 01:50 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: ansinico Signed

Good sequel to First Born, l like the simple story line, relying on the always, almost complex interaction between Adam and Little Joe plus the added mix of Clay and Joe's newish relationship, intense as always with Joe, but 'take it or leave it' and mostly leave it with Clay.

I think it would of made a great episode, because of it's simplicity, it could always been padded out with the odd fight, or bar scene.



Author's Response:

Ah! If I only had the money a scriptwriter does (LOL). I'm glad that you liked it--I try to write cleanly. I also tried to not make Clay unlikeable--I hope his motivations were clear; not ever having had a close family, he didn't know how to take the interdependence--couldn't handle it. Thanks.

Date: 06/07/2011 - 05:51 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Bejules Signed
What a great story Adamant. You got the relationship between Joe and Adam just right and the banter between them spot on.

Loved your description of Little Joe losing 10 years worth of food if he did his swing mount with his hangover.. LOL.

Thanks so much. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response:

I'm glad that you liked the story and that you thought that the relationship between joe and Adam was accurately portrayed. I've not written much about Joe and am trying to get a handle on him. Thanks for your comments.

Date: 06/07/2011 - 05:24 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: LornesGirl Signed

I really enjoyed your story Ant. I liked to see your take on the episode, and wish this would have been part of a continuation. The ending was very touching. Great job.



Author's Response:

LG, I'm glad that you feel that my take on the original episode kept with this sequel. I appresiate that you found the ending touching as I tried to reaffirm the close relationship that developed between Joe and Adeam on the journey. Thank you.

Date: 06/04/2011 - 01:19 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: pony Signed

The title got my attention before I ever even read the story. Adamant, are you SURE you're not starting to lean toward the shallow side ...? You did a terrific job of capturing Joe, especially that scene in the barn where he's wrestling with his conflicting emotions and divided loyalties. The opening scene (Ben and Adam's assumptions about Josefina!) was classic! Really like the way you allowed Clay to reveal his character, word by word and action by action, and the way you showed us glimpses into Joe's reaction as he compared Clay to Adam. Even the little things (Clay's disgust at the Cartwrights' devotion to their horses) said a lot. And that closing scene? What can I say - loved it.



Author's Response:

Seeing that you are the Joe connoisseur, I am highly flattered that you believe that Joe would behave in the manner I described in the story. I'm glad that you liked the closing scene since I had the hardest time deciding how to end it--should I kill off Clay? Let him live? Kill off Adam? (Okay, that's a lie--I couldn't kill off Adam! LOL) Clay was difficult to write--he caused me big issues.

Thanks for reading what is an excruciatingly long story! Oh, and I do admit to being "shallow" upon occassion.

Date: 05/26/2011 - 11:59 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: No1butjoe Signed

Loved this ending. Joe and Clay's relationship will always pale in comparison to Joe and Adam's. Great job, adamant!



Author's Response:

Thanks for coming back to finish the story and that you liked it. I've found that Joe's girls are always more "passionate" about how Joe is portrayed since he is a complex character. And although I don't quite understand it, I did throw in a little SJS! :) Not too much though!

Date: 05/26/2011 - 02:30 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: No1butjoe Signed

I was definitely not expecting this, but it's a very good WHN to "The First Born". Can't wait to read more!



Author's Response:

Considering your user name, it's obvious why you chose to read this story! LOL. Not quite sure what you mean when you say that you were "definitely not expecting this," but maybe when you have the time, you can read the second chapter and let me know. Thanks for starting to read it, and really, the first chapter alone is satisfactory in its own way. Thanks.

Date: 05/26/2011 - 02:06 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Terina Signed

Well, I guess Clay showed his true colors and where his loyalties lay.  Love the banter you wrote between Joe and Adam.  Great story Ant.



Author's Response:

Thanks for reading it, Terina, and commenting. I had trouble with Clay but then he more or less wrote his own lines and I think that his desire not to be bound by family is how he really was--his loyalties were only to himself. Glad that you enjoyed the banter--that was the fun part to write! 

Date: 05/25/2011 - 08:51 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Gillie Signed

Awesome story, adamant!  I loved clearly drawn images of the mission, of Adam and Pa with Alpaca throws over their laps, of the clearly drawn differences between Clay and Adam!  And I also like the balance you stuck between the arguing/conflict parts, and the closeness parts!  I know that's not very good English on my part...but I hope you know what I mean!  Great story-telling!  Thanks!  



Author's Response:

Gillie, I'm glad that you liked the second chapter as well! I had no problem understanding what you were saying and I am flattered; I worked on this story, rewriting and editing on and off, for two months if not more (and I think it was more!), so I'm glad that I did a satisfactory job. I know that it still had flaws and if I looked at it again, I would have to edit--so I'm glad that it's acceptable in this form. Thanks!

I like Adam and Joe's relationship--it was special--the eldest and the youngest.

Date: 05/25/2011 - 06:29 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: pbeaking Signed

I love the interaction between brothers. Adam's dialog was very much like Adam. I could envision Pernell saying those lines. Good job!



Author's Response:

Thank you for the compliment and I'm glad that you liked the first chapter. I tried to create authentic voices for both Adam and Joe and it's worth the effort if people like it. Thanks for reading--it's the longest story I have ever written and may stay thus! :)

Date: 05/25/2011 - 02:54 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Gillie Signed

Nice story-telling, great dialogue! It all rings true, but doesn't feel predictable. I'm hooked for the next chapter!



Author's Response:

Sorry, Gillie, but this is the complete story. :) Joe and Adam get back to the Ponderosa A-Okay. I'm glad that you liked the dialogue--I always struggle with that. Glad that it rings true. Thanks!

Date: 05/25/2011 - 06:17 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Angelface1961 Signed

Excellent example of AJM  Too bad Clay has to be such a butt head. Good job Ant!



Author's Response:

Yeah, it is a shame. But he never grew up with Family as Joe had. Rather sad. Clay deserves pity. In his mind, he comes first.

Date: 05/25/2011 - 04:11 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Angelface1961 Signed

Just like brothers they take say they love each other  and insult each other in the same breathe



Author's Response:

Angelface, Brothers can insult each other (and sisters) and still love each other very much! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!

Date: 05/25/2011 - 03:58 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Tracy Signed

Clay schmay! He's no brother by any definition of the word. Nor, in this story, is he a man. He showed his true colors to the one person who would have loved him without reservation - until those colors were revealed.

 



Author's Response:

I didn't want to make Clay totally bad, he just didn't have anyone as he was growing up so he never learned the importance of family--never made close ties---not even with his horse! (Gasp!). I tried to show that--but I don't care for  Clay either!

Date: 05/24/2011 - 11:49 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Tracy Signed

Adamant - what a great story. You've captured the Adam/Joe banter perfectly - insults and teasing = love. Perfect!

Adam respected Joe's desire to go to the aid of a brother - knowing he'd do the sme for Joe and Hoss.

Will there be s'more?



Author's Response:

Thanks, Tracy, you know how much I struggle with dialogue---I hate writing it! There will be more stories (I try to stop!) but this one I wrote over two to three months--rewriting, editing, etc. There won't be more on this story.

Date: 05/24/2011 - 11:20 pm [Report This]
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