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Post Your Little Joe Quotes Here!

Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:07 pm
by CowgirlAtHeart
Jan and I need your help! We're getting together lists of quotes from each Cartwright to have as a reference here on Boomers.
So if you have any LITTLE JOE them here! Please include the episode titles along with the quotes.
As people contribute quotes, I'll edit them into this first post so we can have all the quotes in one place.
Thanks a million! :thankyou
To Adam: "You Yankee granite head" (A Rose for Lotta)

“Always said he had a hard head, Pa.” (The Sun Mountain Herd)

To Adam: " You got yourself into some real trouble this time, Big Brother." (The Paiute War)

Joe: "Well Adam, if you don't know a boy from a girl!" (Enter Mark Twain)

Joe: “Why don’t you marry her, Adam, an' save us all this trouble?” (The Saga of Annie O’Toole)

"Well, Little Ponderosa. See you around in a couple of hundred years when you're a big Ponderosa." (Mr. Henry Comstock)

"We don't have to inherit the hatred of our parents." (The Truckee Strip)

To Amy: " . . . You know, I questioned my father for the first time over that land. . . . All because I met a little girl with bare feet and the biggest eyes I've ever seen." (The Truckee Strip)

"I guess this killin' is rubbing off on everyone. Here I am holding a gun on my own father." (The Truckee Strip)

To Hoss: "You're putting on ten pounds just listenin'." (El Toro Grande)

"You better let him go, or we'll lose a tree." (El Toro Grande)

To Hoss: "No, I ain't forgettin', uh—I'm just complainin'." (Desert Justice)

"I knew you were good for something, brother, but I never figured it'd be making houses out of cards" (Escape to Ponderosa)

Looking at Hoss's house of cards: "Oh. Well, you see, when I say I'm proud of you, I mean I'm really PROUD of you!" (Escape to Ponderosa)

"I just don't feel like getting married..... Well, not for a couple of days anyway" (Escape to Ponderosa)

To Ben and Adam: “I’ll bet you’re glad we didn’t wait till the last minute.” (The Avenger)

Taking his feet off the table: "Hey Hoss, how do you suppose you and I grew up to be so sweet-tempered with such a grouch for a pa?” (Feet of Clay)

"Now look. I don't know what's bothering you but I brought you here and I feel responsible for you. I want to find out where you belong and that's all." (Dark Star)

"Yeah, when I was a kid I used to wanna be a grizzly." (Dark Star)

Joe: “And what would you do if you were wrong, Adam? Would you go out to my father's grave and say I'm sorry, Pa, I made a big mistake?” (Death at Dawn)

To Adam and Hoss: "Oh, you two are a big help. Here I had that gal sweet-talked, eatin' right out of my hand. You two had to bust in and hustle me outta there." (Denver McKee)

Joe: "Pa, how'd you ever get mixed up in this family?" (Breed of Violence)

To Carrie, who’s offered him a drink of water: "Just looking at you is more refreshing than anything I could drink. - But I could use some of that, too." (The Last Viking)

To Hoss about the argument going on between Ben and Adam inside the house: “Right now this is Yorktown, Bunker Hill, and Valley Forge all rolled into one. Pa's winning.” (The Savage)

"GENtlemen, I am TRYing to be REASonable!" (Bank Run)

"Well, ya—ya see, Pa, w-what hap—what happened is—" [He looks back at Hoss for help.] (Bank Run)

Joe: "Well, I—I ain't exactly got it with me, Pa." (Bank Run)

Joe to Ben: "Umm...Forget to duck?" (The Rescue)

"I'm a lover not a flyer" (The Dream Riders)

"Personally, I'm sick of the Ponderosa right now." (Springtime)

“He'd eat a harness if I fried it long enough!" (The Lonely House)

"I got nine thumbs and a big toe for fingers today!" (The Lonely House)

To Hoss: "Like I said, brother, it's always a pleasure to take your money." (The Horse Breaker)

"I can bunk with Hoss. That is, if he promises to sleep with his head under his pillow so I can't hear his snoring! Sounds like a herd of cattle stampeding through the room." (The Horse Breaker)

“I'm a real good judge. It would be hard to fool me on a deal like this." (Day of the Dragon)

To Hoss: "Will you learn to turn sideways; you're too big a target this way." (The Frenchman)

“Close the window and bar the doors, I got the greatest news since Kelsey's hog found gold!” (The Tall Stranger)

"It seems Adam's just discovered that he's irresistible to women!" (The Wooing of Abigail Jones)

"Just scared me a little, that's all. You know we want him to serenade the girl, Hoss, not warn her of a coming attack." (The Wooing of Abigail Jones)

"I'll go with you as far as the bath is concerned, but jumping out of the frying pan into the fire isn't my idea of a rest cure." (The Crucible)

"Well, what do you know, big brother says 'be here on time' and he's nowhere in sight." (The Crucible)

Joe to Cochise: "Oh, that's right you don't talk before you've had your morning coffee. Here ya go. Careful, it's hot! It's hot!" (The Crucible)

"I can't cook, watch the kids, and keep the pigs out of the kitchen all at the same time!" (Blessed Are They)

About Adam: "He has a right to be heard... He says it's important....Now wait a minute, I'm a delegate, I have credentials. If my brother says it's important, I believe him. I think we should hear him out." (The War Comes to Washoe)

"You know, we can thank our brother Adam for bringin' in that singing troubadour to give the whole family insomnia." (Song In the Dark)

[Joe had picked the longest straw] "Youth must be served." (The Hayburner)

“My Pa didn't put me up to this. I put me up to this.” (The Hayburner)

Joe: "I'm hurting a little bit but the money kinda soothes all that." (The Hayburner)

Joe: "Okay, what's it all about you two didn't come over here just to visit?" (The Hayburner)

Joe: "Coz it's a long ride from the Ponderosa, and we grew up together - remember?" (The Hayburner)

To Adam and Hoss: "Oh boy, talk like that sounds like you're about a foot away from cattle rustling." (The Hayburner)

"SECURITY" (The Hayburner)

“Daisy me darlin,’ you’re a nut! But you’re a wonderful nut.” (Rich Man, Poor Man)

"Don't you worry about a thing, Pa. I'll take care of everything." (Calamity Over the Comstock)

To dress shop owner: "Just wrap up those other dresses. And send the bill to Pa." (Calamity Over the Comstock)

Joe: "Ho-Hol-Holliday? Oh! It's Doc---Doc Holliday!" (Calamity Over the Comstock)

Joe [pouring whiskey with hands shaking]: "Oh! That, the dentist, sure, the dentist! My, my teeth are all good---all good! It's a real pleasure to see ya, Doc!" (Calamity Over the Comstock)

"Cal, there's a lot of things in this world that don't make sense, but a man just goes ahead and does 'em anyway." (Calamity Over the Comstock)

About Cal's muff: "Do ya have to carry that polecat while we're dancing?" (Calamity Over the Comstock)

"I been looking for him. I wanna kill him. He killed my father." (The Legacy)

Joe: "No Pa, I didn´t kill him...I had your rifle pointed at him, I had my finger on the trigger but I just couldn´t pull it...maybe it was because it was your rifle." (The Legacy)

"I think we'd have a little more luck if we could find an enraged chicken." (Ponderosa Matador)

“Oh, I’m scaring him to death, Hoss!” (Ponderosa Matador)

To Hoss: "Not recommended for humans. That´s me, HUMAN!" (Ponderosa Matador)

Joe and Adam: "Oh YEAH!" (Ponderosa Matador)

Joe: "Somewhere along the line I feel I've been led astray." (Ponderosa Matador)

“That, that old bull is full of tricks.” (Ponderosa Matador)

"I've got some liniment that'll take care of that!" (Ponderosa Matador)

"Oh, well we and our chickens apologize!" (The Wild One)

About Adam: "Where's the Plato of the Ponderosa?" (Between Heaven and Earth)

"We---we got a real Bonanza in there, Pa!" (Old Sheba)

"Why me?" (A Knight to Remember)

To Hoss: "A drink of water, my foot! You came down to sneak some food out of the kitchen, didn't you? Huh? Didn't you?” (The Flapjack Contest)

"Holy Toledo, Pa, the windowpane!” (The Flapjack Contest)

"I just got an idea to get us outta trouble; more trouble than we got out of yesterday." (The Flapjack Contest)

“Well, I’m sorry, we were fresh out of coyote.” (Hound Dog)

"Pa loves that fireplace, he keeps it going twelve months a year." (To Kill a Buffalo)

"Shoot first, ask questions later." (Peace Officer)

To Hoss: "Thanks...for being my brother." (The Code)

To Hoss: “You know, I don’t know what you’ve got that these women want, but whatever it is, Hoss, you oughtta bottle it and sell it!” (Three Brides for Hoss)

About Hoss: "He's got that silly notion about trying to help people...I just don't know where he gets it from." (The Genius)

"You would have died from a real bad case of slow" (Credit For a Kill)

"Who's worried? Look at that right hand, steady as a rock! Just wish I was right-handed." (Credit for a Kill)

When asked where he got shot: "Right in the middle of the Ponderosa." (A Real Nice, Friendly Little Town)

"Look at the size of that thing! What are you raising, a mountain lion or a rabbit?" (Ponderosa Explosion)

"I didn't slay any of them. I couldn't do it...I guess I got too fond of 'em too." (Ponderosa Explosion)

"Ho-Hoss, don´t break it!" (Joe Cartwright, Detective)

To himself: "Chapter 14: How to Work Alone." (Joe Cartwright, Detective)

"If she looked at me like she was looking at him, I think it would take about forty horses to pull me outta here!" (Trouble Town)

To Ben, through the jail bars: "Guess you're a little surprised to find me in here, huh?" (Trouble Town)

"That stew even smells tough." (Trouble Town)

[After hearing that Miss Denise is a famous "chanteuse"] "A chantoose? I didn't know they had that kind of thing going on here in Virginia City." (Stage Door Johnnies)

“What, are you practicing to be a burglar, bettin’ that kind of money on a two-card draw?” (Queen High)

"I have a feeling I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning regretting this." (Queen High)

To Hoss, about being his lawyer: "I'd rather have you handle it believin' in me than have the best lawyer in town who thinks I'm guilty." (Mark of Guilt)

Joe: "It's my money. It's my neck, brother." (Mark of Guilt)

"When I held her in my arms, she had muscles as hard as sourdough biscuits!" (The Lady and the Mountain Lion)

[after Sissy calls Hoss a big old fuzzy-bear sheriff] "Did you say, big old fuzzy bear?" (A Lawman's Lot Is Not a Happy One)

To Hoss: "Oh, don't, don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anybody...just a few close friends, five or six...Pa, Candy...See ya, Fuzz!" (A Lawman's Lot Is Not a Happy One)

"Would you mind putting that hammer down? That's my gun. It's got a hair-trigger." (A Darker Shadow)

"One slip and you could whistle 'Dixie' all the way to the end before you hit the bottom." (A Darker Shadow)

"He's got money in the bank...he probably wants to go in and watch it grow." (The Lady and the Mark)

To Hoss: "No, no! No. Please. One escaped prisoner in the family is plenty." (What Are Pardners For?)

To Hoss: "Drop biscuits? You must mean like those pancakes you made this morning. Drop one and it breaks the plate." (The Lonely Man)

"You can always believe me. I may not always be telling the truth, but you can always believe me." (Forever)

"You know what, Pa, every time you call me Joseph, I know in some way you've got me cornered." (The Marriage of Theodora Duffy)